2018

Yet again I find myself writing on here way later than I would have wanted to. The less I post here, the more disconnected I feel from this blog, making me hesitate to be as personal as I would usually be. I will try and change that today.

2018 was a weird year in the way that everything felt fleeting. Having all the feels one second and forgetting about it the next. In many ways, I don't feel like 2018 had a great impact on me. This isn't the year I turned my life around, nor the year I leaped out of my comfort zone very often. However, reminiscing about 2018 leaves me feeling like the person I was in January is only a vague predecessor of who I am now. While "the biggest changes are the ones we don't notice" is the kind of corny quote I would usually roll my eyes and/or pretend to puke at, I must admit that it resonates with me.

(Will I turn into a soccer mom who decorates the house with live, laugh, love quotes now? Well, I'll try not to, but I can't make any promises. Operation soccer mom is cancelled. Someone stop me when I find myself looking for a slow cooker online.)

I haven't been active online this year because it was spent connecting with life outside of the internet (the outernet! hashtag punny!) and spending time with people very close to my heart. I haven't been active because I've come to realize the value I attach to academics. I haven't been active because I don't feel like documenting my life online anymore, and that frightens me because I don't want to be low-key or boring or grown up. Most of all I haven't been active because I simply don't feel like it and prefer to spend my time otherwise, and I guess I need some sort of approval for this because I always find myself making up excuses for not writing on here while I don't even mind myself.

But this isn't a goodbye. I will probably continue updating you on my life on here well into my 40s, especially when I have turned into the 45-year-old soccer mom I'm bound to become.

SO THIS YEAR. 2018. MUCH FUN.

Let's dive into my phone archives and find out how I've been wasting my time this year.

MOMENTS: The past year was not marked by major events nor life-changing shifts. It's just made up of a bunch of incoherent happenings that stuck with me anyway; spending way too much time hanging out at my friends' houses after school, going to London for a school trip, spending a week at the French sea, my 16th birthday and some other little trips and events I didn't mention. 

BOOKS: I didn't read as much as I would've liked this year but I managed to read a moderate amount of books (some of which I absolutely loved, some of which I didn't) including Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, Mythos by Stephen Fry, His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman, Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, The Penderwicks At Last by Jeanne Birdsall (don't judge me, this is really nostalgic), the entire Maze Runner trilogy by James Dashner (this was a five day reading marathon of not very high end but addictive literature), The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Simon vs The Homosapien Agenda by Becky Albertalli and Grace: A Memoir by Grace Coddington. I also reread The Secret History approximately 38503 times for good measure.

FILMS: I honestly can't remember every film I watched this year, but I recently watched Beautiful Boy which was heartbreaking and emotional and also beautiful. Some other gems I watched include Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Isle of Dogs, The Florida Project and Black Swan.

MUSIC: my 2018 playlist consisted of a lot of 80s Autumn Beats, a decent amount of Jorja Smith, some Step Up soundtrack songs, a lot of Tommy Genesis and some random Taylor Swift/Kendrick Lamar/Janet Jackson/Backstreet Boys songs. Sounds like a mishmash, which it definitely is. You would probably all think my taste in music sucks if you'd listen to my playlists.

I guess that's pretty much it! Thank you for sticking out another year with me and keeping up with my bullshit blog posts. I love you all to infinity.

Cato